








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 934 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 280 matches | ||
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 172 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5353 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7617 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6957 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5768 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,893,570 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 973 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | empyrean | 61% | 223 |
| #2 | Jian Jinhai | 60% | 282 |
| #3 | Frorgan Meeman | 59% | 64 |
| #4 | Dick Butkus | 58% | 461 |
| #5 | Gwas | 57% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dick Butkus | 58% | 461 |
| #5 | Gwas | 57% | 158 |
| #6 | Babatunday | 56% | 244 |
| #7 | Reck7z | 54% | 394 |
| #8 | Francis Draco | 52% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reck7z | 37 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Dick Butkus | 19 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Babatunday | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | empyrean | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Gwas | 10 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dick Butkus | 2177 | 0.23 | 66 min |
| #2 | empyrean | 587 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Reck7z | 455 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | Gwas | 384 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | Jian Jinhai | 318 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dick Butkus | +2.62 | 77 | 76 |
| #2 | JL | +2.62 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | empyrean | +1.68 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | Francis Draco | +0.29 | 47 | 42 |
| #5 | Reck7z | -1.44 | 52 | 58 |





