








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 182 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 691 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1610 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2777 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1966 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,205,760 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frorgan Meeman | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | Gwas | 63% | 83 |
| #3 | empyrean | 61% | 76 |
| #4 | Dick Butkus | 59% | 244 |
| #5 | Jian Jinhai | 56% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dick Butkus | 59% | 244 |
| #5 | Jian Jinhai | 56% | 126 |
| #6 | JL | 56% | 244 |
| #7 | Reck7z | 54% | 153 |
| #8 | Francis Draco | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JL | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Dick Butkus | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | empyrean | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Reck7z | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Gwas | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dick Butkus | 1210 | 0.23 | 38 min |
| #2 | JL | 913 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #3 | empyrean | 232 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Gwas | 217 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Reck7z | 212 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dick Butkus | +3.60 | 79 | 79 |
| #2 | JL | +2.87 | 81 | 75 |
| #3 | empyrean | +2.42 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | Francis Draco | +0.44 | 46 | 41 |
| #5 | Reck7z | -1.36 | 54 | 59 |





