








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1532 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1476 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2608 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 853 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,016 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frorgan Meeman | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | Babatunday | 63% | 83 |
| #3 | Dick Butkus | 59% | 155 |
| #4 | JL | 57% | 158 |
| #5 | empyrean | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JL | 57% | 158 |
| #5 | empyrean | 54% | 13 |
| #6 | Francis Draco | 52% | 31 |
| #7 | Reck7z | 48% | 87 |
| #8 | XLNC | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JL | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Dick Butkus | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Reck7z | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Babatunday | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | empyrean | 2 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dick Butkus | 737 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | JL | 408 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Reck7z | 118 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Babatunday | 61 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | empyrean | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dick Butkus | +2.57 | 76 | 78 |
| #2 | JL | +2.50 | 80 | 74 |
| #3 | empyrean | +2.41 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | Francis Draco | +0.75 | 59 | 42 |
| #5 | Gwas | -1.49 | 61 | 64 |





