








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 840 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2145 | 11% |
| Smokes | 4776 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6839 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 4962 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,255,450 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | empyrean | 63% | 238 |
| #2 | Dick Butkus | 63% | 264 |
| #3 | Reck7z | 61% | 223 |
| #4 | Francis Draco | 60% | 55 |
| #5 | JL | 60% | 282 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dick Butkus | 1209 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #2 | JL | 916 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #3 | empyrean | 623 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #4 | HARRIS [PMA] | 444 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #5 | Reck7z | 344 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dick Butkus | +3.87 | 79 | 77 |
| #2 | JL | +3.21 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | empyrean | +2.49 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | HARRIS [PMA] | +1.63 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | Hege :) | +0.73 | 74 | 50 |





