








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1076 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1121 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1052 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 851 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,086 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wave beam | 79% | 48 |
| #2 | george dubya cup | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | David | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | zmoney | 71% | 24 |
| #5 | KLOSE | 63% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | neon | 58% | 90 |
| #8 | neteX | 56% | 32 |
| #9 | tt | 56% | 88 |
| #10 | Oats | 56% | 18 |
| #11 | bo0seurs | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tt | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | neon | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | jj | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | KLOSE | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | wave beam | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wave beam | 138 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | jj | 90 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | KLOSE | 89 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | tt | 78 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | neteX | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neon | +2.20 | 74 | 49 |
| #2 | jj | +1.83 | 67 | 57 |
| #3 | neteX | +1.60 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Clueless | +0.39 | 80 | 63 |
| #5 | David | +0.20 | 69 | 40 |





