








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1320 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1010 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2427 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1669 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,691 of utility $20 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wave beam | 67% | 45 |
| #2 | bo0seurs | 58% | 118 |
| #3 | Clueless | 56% | 88 |
| #4 | KLOSE | 54% | 196 |
| #5 | jj | 53% | 336 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | jj | 53% | 336 |
| #6 | neon | 53% | 316 |
| #7 | neteX | 52% | 112 |
| #8 | george dubya cup | 45% | 80 |
| #9 | zmoney | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bo0seurs | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | neon | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | KLOSE | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | neteX | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | jj | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLOSE | 308 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | jj | 213 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #3 | bo0seurs | 171 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | neteX | 160 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Clueless | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neon | +2.27 | 70 | 44 |
| #2 | jj | +2.02 | 67 | 57 |
| #3 | neteX | +1.86 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | Clueless | -0.79 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | bo0seurs | -0.94 | 82 | 57 |





