








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5774 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4129 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4387 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1418 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,358,192 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clueless | 79% | 48 |
| #2 | neteX | 76% | 41 |
| #3 | neon | 70% | 44 |
| #4 | tt | 67% | 45 |
| #5 | jj | 64% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Lober | 53% | 73 |
| #11 | TRASHPANDA | 52% | 168 |
| #12 | george dubya cup | 52% | 62 |
| #13 | Babaganoush | 50% | 157 |
| #14 | Danimal | 48% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danimal | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | KLOSE | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Lober | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | TRASHPANDA | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | zmoney | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babaganoush | 232 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | TRASHPANDA | 225 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | KLOSE | 198 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | zmoney | 186 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Danimal | 180 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neon | +5.74 | 84 | 48 |
| #2 | neteX | +4.37 | 87 | 61 |
| #3 | jj | +3.70 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | Clueless | +2.33 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | Lober | +2.15 | 61 | 54 |





