








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 956 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1416 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1392 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1424 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,876 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 819 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danny | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | wave beam | 76% | 41 |
| #3 | KLOSE | 64% | 59 |
| #4 | zmoney | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | jj | 58% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Clueless | 56% | 32 |
| #7 | bo0seurs | 55% | 29 |
| #8 | george dubya cup | 55% | 20 |
| #9 | tt | 52% | 112 |
| #10 | neon | 52% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wave beam | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | neon | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | jj | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | tt | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | KLOSE | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tt | 112 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | KLOSE | 99 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | wave beam | 97 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | jj | 94 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | bo0seurs | 42 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neteX | +2.30 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | jj | +1.55 | 68 | 53 |
| #3 | neon | +1.33 | 68 | 42 |
| #4 | KLOSE | -0.87 | 59 | 63 |
| #5 | Clueless | -1.39 | 75 | 63 |





