








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 272 | 2% |
| Smokes | 4362 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3975 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3292 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $575,961 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 438 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wave beam | 70% | 44 |
| #2 | Clueless | 58% | 90 |
| #3 | bo0seurs | 58% | 130 |
| #4 | KLOSE | 54% | 208 |
| #5 | jj | 53% | 344 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KLOSE | 54% | 208 |
| #5 | jj | 53% | 344 |
| #6 | tt | 53% | 316 |
| #7 | neteX | 52% | 118 |
| #8 | george dubya cup | 44% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bo0seurs | 13 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | tt | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | KLOSE | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | jj | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | neteX | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLOSE | 333 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | tt | 296 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | jj | 229 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #4 | bo0seurs | 184 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | neteX | 162 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neon | +2.38 | 71 | 50 |
| #2 | jj | +2.00 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | neteX | +1.51 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | Clueless | -0.74 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | bo0seurs | -0.90 | 82 | 56 |





