








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 593 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 151 matches | ||
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 27 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3725 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4188 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2751 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4372 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,338,763 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2032 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kaleq | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Leemerang | 51% | 218 |
| #6 | 130 | 51% | 69 |
| #7 | dogalyyst | 49% | 88 |
| #8 | Sinxysinxy | 48% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leemerang | 31 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Gamer Girl Canceller | 23 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | Sinxysinxy | 21 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | squidah | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | dogalyyst | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinxysinxy | 781 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | squidah | 630 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #3 | Leemerang | 610 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | 130 | 322 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #5 | dogalyyst | 250 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squidah | +2.84 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | Gamer Girl Canceller | +2.55 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | katalyyst | +0.99 | 81 | 53 |
| #4 | Leemerang | +0.51 | 80 | 44 |
| #5 | 130 | +0.45 | 65 | 62 |





