








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1884 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2076 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1159 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1482 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,290 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justhoohaa | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Gamer Girl Canceller | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | katalyyst | 51% | 69 |
| #4 | Leemerang | 48% | 93 |
| #5 | squidah | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | katalyyst | 51% | 69 |
| #4 | Leemerang | 48% | 93 |
| #5 | squidah | 44% | 84 |
| #6 | Swathey | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | Sinxysinxy | 42% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinxysinxy | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | squidah | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Gamer Girl Canceller | 9 | 0.0210 |
| #4 | Leemerang | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Swathey | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinxysinxy | 511 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | squidah | 447 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | Leemerang | 280 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | katalyyst | 227 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Swathey | 70 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justhoohaa | +3.98 | 65 | 63 |
| #2 | Gamer Girl Canceller | +2.02 | 74 | 44 |
| #3 | squidah | +0.98 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | Swathey | +0.86 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | Leemerang | +0.41 | 84 | 45 |





