








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 726 | 31% |
| Smokes | 578 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 576 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 431 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,395 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faurdelicious | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Fidster | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | psYKENNN^ | 77% | 22 |
| #4 | MorzαK | 75% | 8 |
| #5 | Cr4mer | 73% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phartphart | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Bammer | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phartphart | 138 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jonathan | 116 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | psYKENNN^ | 85 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | dadofthreenerds | 53 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | 5oftb0i | 48 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4mer | +4.64 | 73 | 51 |
| #2 | Fidster | +2.99 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | dadofthreenerds | +2.41 | 68 | 84 |
| #4 | Bammer | +1.78 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | Jonathan | +0.87 | 67 | 64 |





