








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 202 | 22% |
| Smokes | 285 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 224 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 201 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,018 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonathan | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | faqwin^ | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Faurdelicious | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | phartphart | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | dadofthreenerds | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faqwin^ | 37 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #2 | phartphart | 31 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | psYKENNN^ | 20 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Faurdelicious | 17 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jonathan | 17 | 0.31 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faqwin^ | +4.38 | 68 | 80 |
| #2 | Cr4mer | +2.95 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | psYKENNN^ | +1.97 | 53 | 69 |
| #4 | Jonathan | +1.31 | 80 | 80 |
| #5 | dadofthreenerds | +1.23 | 75 | 97 |





