








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 25 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 195 | 21% |
| Smokes | 264 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 294 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 155 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,489 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phartphart | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Bammer | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Bnanman | 1 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phartphart | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | faqwin^ | 72 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | dadofthreenerds | 55 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jonathan | 46 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | psYKENNN^ | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4mer | +4.37 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | Fidster | +3.94 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | Faurdelicious | +1.46 | 83 | 42 |
| #4 | Bnanman | +1.36 | 61 | 68 |
| #5 | Bammer | +1.04 | 73 | 64 |





