








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 446 | 33% |
| Smokes | 324 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 295 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 305 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $227,829 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phartphart | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Noname | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 126 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jonathan | 108 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | phartphart | 89 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | dadofthreenerds | 75 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cr4mer | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4mer | +2.85 | 87 | 53 |
| #2 | dadofthreenerds | +1.56 | 61 | 90 |
| #3 | Noname | +1.34 | 58 | 73 |
| #4 | phartphart | +0.95 | 53 | 75 |
| #5 | Faurdelicious | +0.70 | 75 | 55 |





