








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 26% |
| Smokes | 654 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1000 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 939 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,456 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 51% | 101 |
| #2 | RICKY GRIMES | 48% | 99 |
| #3 | jebs | 48% | 124 |
| #4 | .bulba | 47% | 131 |
| #5 | Vesa-Masa Lapissa kesällä | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | RICKY GRIMES | 48% | 99 |
| #3 | jebs | 48% | 124 |
| #4 | .bulba | 47% | 131 |
| #5 | Vesa-Masa Lapissa kesällä | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | Rigel | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .bulba | 18 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | RICKY GRIMES | 13 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | jebs | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Rigel | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jebs | 635 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | .bulba | 626 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #3 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 321 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | RICKY GRIMES | 291 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Rigel | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | +2.84 | 66 | 63 |
| #2 | RICKY GRIMES | +1.35 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | .bulba | +1.27 | 70 | 74 |
| #4 | jebs | -0.52 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | Vesa-Masa Lapissa kesällä | -1.05 | 45 | 39 |





