








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Wingman | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3635 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2925 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3380 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2042 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,119,927 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1554 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .bulba | 53% | 241 |
| #2 | jebs | 53% | 158 |
| #3 | Möttönen | 51% | 101 |
| #4 | RICKY GRIMES | 51% | 131 |
| #5 | Rigel | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .bulba | 39 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | RICKY GRIMES | 23 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Möttönen | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | jebs | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Gunners | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .bulba | 1113 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #2 | jebs | 856 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #3 | RICKY GRIMES | 385 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Möttönen | 153 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gunners | 104 | 0.04 | 2 min |





