








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5225 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4614 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5632 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4881 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $965,313 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 434 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 53% | 241 |
| #2 | RICKY GRIMES | 51% | 167 |
| #3 | jebs | 49% | 268 |
| #4 | LOKO | 48% | 101 |
| #5 | Late^ | 47% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jebs | 49% | 268 |
| #4 | LOKO | 48% | 101 |
| #5 | Late^ | 47% | 95 |
| #6 | Möttönen | 47% | 131 |
| #7 | Rigel | 45% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RICKY GRIMES | 38 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | jebs | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | LOKO | 12 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Möttönen | 9 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jebs | 1427 | 0.25 | 38 min |
| #2 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 614 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | RICKY GRIMES | 465 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | LOKO | 351 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | Möttönen | 210 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | +2.58 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | LOKO | +1.54 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | RICKY GRIMES | +0.46 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | .bulba | +0.35 | 69 | 72 |
| #5 | Late^ | -0.04 | 70 | 53 |





