








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,257 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5500 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4114 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 502 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 3141 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,319 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 53% | 158 |
| #2 | Erendar | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | pullonkorkki55 | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | RICKY GRIMES | 49% | 110 |
| #5 | .bulba | 49% | 268 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .bulba | 35 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | RICKY GRIMES | 22 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Möttönen | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Rigel | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .bulba | 1252 | 0.22 | 39 min |
| #2 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 426 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | RICKY GRIMES | 307 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Möttönen | 196 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | LOKO | 130 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | +2.67 | 69 | 66 |
| #2 | Wulg | +2.20 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | LOKO | +1.21 | 68 | 69 |
| #4 | Staffan | +0.79 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | RICKY GRIMES | +0.78 | 70 | 67 |





