








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 314 | 22% |
| Smokes | 371 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 578 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 188 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,647 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Late^ | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | LOKO | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | .bulba | 45% | 62 |
| #5 | Möttönen | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Möttönen | 45% | 29 |
| #6 | jebs | 44% | 54 |
| #7 | RICKY GRIMES | 38% | 24 |
| #8 | Clmet1a | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | Cute catboy | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .bulba | 15 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | RICKY GRIMES | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Möttönen | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Clmet1a | 3 | 0.0313 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .bulba | 266 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | jebs | 264 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #3 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | LOKO | 65 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Möttönen | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOKO | +3.26 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | Cute catboy | +3.12 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | GODtêukkab #24 =( | +2.48 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | Late^ | +1.77 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | RICKY GRIMES | +1.49 | 70 | 66 |





