








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 639 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1135 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1278 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1034 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,120,024 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marcos. | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | bob | 47% | 38 |
| #3 | wolf | 45% | 44 |
| #4 | hennyS | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | dog | 45% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dog | 730 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | _Lerff | 321 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | bob | 156 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | hennyS | 81 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | wolf | 69 | 0.08 | 2 min |





