








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1252 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1464 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1850 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1460 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,992 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bandido de Burrito | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Canned Coochie | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | alicerawr | 69% | 32 |
| #4 | nah budy | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | Desmond DeChone Figgins | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ilmari | 50% | 40 |
| #10 | Copes | 49% | 55 |
| #11 | Tony Cannoli | 47% | 19 |
| #12 | M.C.Double | 47% | 30 |
| #13 | mxnstrx | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ilmari | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | yung spook | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | M.C.Double | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Copes | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | turdsandwich24 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung spook | 244 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Copes | 216 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tony Cannoli | 110 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | turdsandwich24 | 95 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ilmari | 81 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alicerawr | +4.32 | 96 | 59 |
| #2 | ilmari | +2.45 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | Desmond DeChone Figgins | +1.09 | 70 | 60 |
| #4 | UrangDinkster42 | +1.03 | 80 | 47 |
| #5 | Copes | +0.89 | 82 | 69 |





