








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 600 | 27% |
| Smokes | 509 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 398 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 725 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,694 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DevonJones | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | Shaxx'sOiledAss(Adept) | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | Hackerrman | 37% | 27 |
| #10 | The Price Master | 37% | 30 |
| #11 | Tapski | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShadowSlayer | 21 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Tapski | 7 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | BurmeseManWithAPlan | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | The Price Master | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Shaxx'sOiledAss(Adept) | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tapski | 158 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | ShadowSlayer | 123 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | BurmeseManWithAPlan | 98 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shaxx'sOiledAss(Adept) | 81 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | The Price Master | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DevonJones | +5.51 | 94 | 56 |
| #2 | Shaxx'sOiledAss(Adept) | +1.96 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | dead | +1.92 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | Lime | +1.83 | 48 | 42 |
| #5 | The Price Master | +0.64 | 77 | 72 |





