








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 518 | 40% |
| Smokes | 262 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 226 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 298 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,310 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | longjohn | 8 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Cheriyaki Ticket | 7 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | viz | 7 | 0.0211 |
| #4 | gao | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | micro | 2 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheriyaki Ticket | 118 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | longjohn | 103 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | viz | 79 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | micro | 61 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | gao | 49 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viz | +7.48 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | micro | +5.74 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | nato || ssdd (new sensitivity) | +1.36 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | Cheriyaki Ticket | +0.76 | 62 | 42 |
| #5 | 1girth | +0.18 | 59 | 37 |





