








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1898 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2992 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3777 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3182 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,818,678 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | MuTTs NuTTs | 54% | 233 |
| #3 | Dockx | 52% | 180 |
| #4 | Tank | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | An1ta | 51% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | yamakyo | 47% | 87 |
| #10 | Smithy | 47% | 60 |
| #11 | H@R!B0 | 46% | 115 |
| #12 | Fireman | 45% | 29 |
| #13 | MrMatt | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s4m | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | MuTTs NuTTs | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | An1ta | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Marvos | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Smithy | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marvos | 1606 | 0.28 | 52 min |
| #2 | MuTTs NuTTs | 1044 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #3 | Dockx | 606 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #4 | An1ta | 602 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #5 | Smithy | 191 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D|D: | +2.92 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | s4m | +1.76 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | Smithy | +1.58 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | Marvos | +1.55 | 74 | 77 |
| #5 | Knes | +0.80 | 62 | 56 |





