








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4222 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4808 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3643 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3437 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,184,569 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D|D: | 59% | 68 |
| #2 | MrMatt | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Smithy | 52% | 60 |
| #4 | hayes | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Knes | 51% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D|D: | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | MuTTs NuTTs | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Marvos | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Smithy | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | hayes | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marvos | 1246 | 0.32 | 39 min |
| #2 | MuTTs NuTTs | 749 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | Dockx | 482 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | Knes | 245 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Smithy | 211 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D|D: | +2.10 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Smithy | +1.72 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | hayes | +1.51 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | s4m | +0.95 | 76 | 58 |
| #5 | Marvos | +0.83 | 71 | 76 |





