








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 882 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 696 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9617 | 29% |
| Smokes | 10453 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 8336 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5281 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,516,949 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | MrMatt | 46% | 41 |
| #12 | George | 45% | 38 |
| #13 | Ben Adaephon Delat | 44% | 62 |
| #14 | Enemy Green | 43% | 80 |
| #15 | yamakyo | 40% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuTTs NuTTs | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | :D|D: | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | H@R!B0 | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Knes | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | An1ta | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marvos | 1527 | 0.30 | 50 min |
| #2 | MuTTs NuTTs | 824 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #3 | An1ta | 545 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #4 | Fireman | 352 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | Knes | 255 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D|D: | +2.78 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | s4m | +1.90 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Marvos | +1.76 | 75 | 79 |
| #4 | Knes | +1.20 | 63 | 56 |
| #5 | Ben Adaephon Delat | +0.12 | 53 | 63 |





