








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 628 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 684 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4399 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6762 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6444 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6761 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,761,807 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zMilad | 52% | 69 |
| #2 | JapaneseMuscle | 48% | 182 |
| #3 | MuTTs NuTTs | 48% | 131 |
| #4 | IDK | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | Knes | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | An1ta | 46% | 54 |
| #8 | Marvos | 46% | 147 |
| #9 | H@R!B0 | 44% | 113 |
| #10 | Perrymeister | 42% | 48 |
| #11 | Dockx | 40% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JapaneseMuscle | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | H@R!B0 | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Marvos | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | MuTTs NuTTs | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | s4m | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marvos | 970 | 0.31 | 31 min |
| #2 | JapaneseMuscle | 609 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | MuTTs NuTTs | 577 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | Dockx | 252 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | An1ta | 193 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marvos | +1.92 | 75 | 79 |
| #2 | Knes | +1.63 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | s4m | +0.64 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | JapaneseMuscle | +0.22 | 56 | 75 |
| #5 | yamakyo | +0.07 | 63 | 57 |





