








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3148 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3798 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3470 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2222 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,324,576 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 687 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | `ydnarB` ⭕⃤ | 49% | 154 |
| #6 | cuh | 48% | 166 |
| #7 | Master SEA | 47% | 131 |
| #8 | Bozzy | 46% | 127 |
| #9 | WKDJonesy | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `ydnarB` ⭕⃤ | 28 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Master SEA | 21 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | zim | 20 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Squidge | 16 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | cuh | 14 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squidge | 769 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | `ydnarB` ⭕⃤ | 366 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | zim | 267 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | cuh | 246 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bozzy | 149 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zim | +4.93 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | `ydnarB` ⭕⃤ | +3.00 | 52 | 57 |
| #3 | argh | +1.06 | 59 | 36 |
| #4 | cuh | +0.48 | 64 | 37 |
| #5 | Squidge | +0.19 | 36 | 54 |





