








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,165 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1759 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1849 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1394 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1163 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,749 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | `ydnarB` ⭕⃤ | 48% | 33 |
| #7 | cuh | 44% | 52 |
| #8 | Mirelurk | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | duh | 23% | 22 |
| #10 | Kebab with the Lot | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `ydnarB` ⭕⃤ | 14 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | Liability | 12 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Squidge | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | cuh | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Master SEA | 4 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liability | 140 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Squidge | 127 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | cuh | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | duh | 97 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | `ydnarB` ⭕⃤ | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duh | +4.58 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | zim | +4.20 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | `ydnarB` ⭕⃤ | +0.95 | 52 | 50 |
| #4 | Mirelurk | -0.54 | 64 | 66 |
| #5 | Master SEA | -0.63 | 52 | 23 |





