








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 633 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1525 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1093 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1066 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,126,159 of utility $288 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Zer0 | 42% | 76 |
| #10 | Der 3. Weg | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | Michel | 36% | 11 |
| #12 | PDXconfus1on | 35% | 34 |
| #13 | VERSPEISEN SIE ARSCH? | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabo | +3.30 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | Chrizzle.exe | +2.59 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | Michel | +2.26 | 69 | 42 |
| #4 | VERSPEISEN SIE ARSCH? | +0.56 | 63 | 24 |
| #5 | Zer0 | -0.64 | 47 | 53 |





