








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2371 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3745 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2123 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2988 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,329,656 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nyo | 80% | 25 |
| #2 | Aloof | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | flux | 75% | 20 |
| #4 | RHY | 73% | 26 |
| #5 | The Constipated | 69% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Adept | 62% | 91 |
| #9 | tej | 61% | 69 |
| #10 | Vantage | 60% | 43 |
| #11 | Pat | 60% | 105 |
| #12 | FugTheMug | 56% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .barns | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Vantage | 8 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | FugTheMug | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Fflew | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | tej | 7 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept | 415 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Pat | 364 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | FugTheMug | 364 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | Fflew | 336 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | tej | 189 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tej | +2.23 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | Aloof | +1.97 | 84 | 47 |
| #3 | .barns | +1.92 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | Fflew | +1.90 | 85 | 64 |
| #5 | nyo | +1.86 | 75 | 69 |





