








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 198 | 12% |
| Smokes | 228 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 548 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 675 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,182 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | 72% | 43 |
| #2 | bHIP! | 65% | 85 |
| #3 | ITS TIME | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | RoySaiYan | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Bert | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bHIP! | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | fent cart | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | ILCBICEICTIGFBISG | 3 | 0.0186 |
| #4 | ITS TIME | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Bert | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | 149 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | bHIP! | 104 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | ITS TIME | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | fent cart | 25 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ILCBICEICTIGFBISG | 14 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | +7.62 | 73 | 75 |
| #2 | ITS TIME | +1.74 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | ILCBICEICTIGFBISG | +1.64 | 83 | 32 |
| #4 | catburgers | +0.34 | 62 | 36 |
| #5 | fent cart | +0.01 | 51 | 29 |





