








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 920 | 31% |
| Smokes | 871 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 705 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 481 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,513 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick1one | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | SunnyFarms | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | Intel® Core™ i5-9600K Processor | 50% | 66 |
| #4 | TaxEvasion | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | Fart_Garfunkel | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Intel® Core™ i5-9600K Processor | 50% | 66 |
| #4 | TaxEvasion | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | Fart_Garfunkel | 41% | 39 |
| #6 | Ligma Awareness | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | DAWANGJerry | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick1one | 12 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Intel® Core™ i5-9600K Processor | 10 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Fart_Garfunkel | 10 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | TaxEvasion | 8 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | SunnyFarms | 5 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Intel® Core™ i5-9600K Processor | 129 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Nick1one | 95 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fart_Garfunkel | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | SunnyFarms | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | TaxEvasion | 23 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Intel® Core™ i5-9600K Processor | +3.56 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | SunnyFarms | +1.02 | 63 | 33 |
| #3 | Fart_Garfunkel | -0.68 | 68 | 33 |
| #4 | Nick1one | -0.88 | 45 | 57 |
| #5 | Ligma Awareness | -1.13 | 34 | 38 |





