








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 468 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4457 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4245 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6656 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3694 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,811,866 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterSchmusig | 53% | 164 |
| #2 | jimboawpbob99 | 52% | 170 |
| #3 | n0éL the UNprofessional | 52% | 363 |
| #4 | Fsn | 50% | 107 |
| #5 | 失败是成功之母 | 50% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rescha | 27 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | n0éL the UNprofessional | 24 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | 失败是成功之母 | 15 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | b1oN | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | jimboawpbob99 | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0éL the UNprofessional | 2006 | 0.26 | 55 min |
| #2 | Rescha | 1115 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #3 | Sexygamer93 | 544 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #4 | PeterSchmusig | 218 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | b1oN | 200 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterSchmusig | +2.60 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | n0éL the UNprofessional | +1.63 | 40 | 73 |
| #3 | Sexygamer93 | +0.69 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | Force™ | +0.65 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | kggx | -0.10 | 68 | 61 |





