








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 769 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5425 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7954 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5494 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4229 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,397,373 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimboawpbob99 | 54% | 138 |
| #2 | PeterSchmusig | 54% | 102 |
| #3 | Rescha | 51% | 215 |
| #4 | 失败是成功之母 | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | Fsn | 49% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 失败是成功之母 | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | Fsn | 49% | 240 |
| #6 | n0éL the UNprofessional | 48% | 329 |
| #7 | Force™ | 48% | 237 |
| #8 | b1oN | 46% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0éL the UNprofessional | 22 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | 失败是成功之母 | 13 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Rescha | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Force™ | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Fsn | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0éL the UNprofessional | 1823 | 0.25 | 51 min |
| #2 | Rescha | 711 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | Fsn | 428 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #4 | Force™ | 334 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | PeterSchmusig | 124 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterSchmusig | +2.67 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | n0éL the UNprofessional | +1.14 | 42 | 72 |
| #3 | Sexygamer93 | +0.96 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | Force™ | -0.15 | 50 | 56 |
| #5 | b1oN | -0.81 | 50 | 54 |





