








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2244 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1155 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1477 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1914 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,985,148 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fucking retard idiot | 78% | 97 |
| #2 | wheeler | 76% | 128 |
| #3 | SHLIZZARD | 74% | 57 |
| #4 | chuck | 72% | 81 |
| #5 | strat | 69% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | kirkomelon | 68% | 77 |
| #9 | Arugula | 66% | 41 |
| #10 | Kirel | 58% | 33 |
| #11 | Pwhit | 57% | 214 |
| #12 | tooth | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Bait | 17 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Pwhit | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | fucking retard idiot | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | chuck | 7 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 620 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | El Bait | 475 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | wheeler | 350 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Pwhit | 235 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | SHLIZZARD | 216 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Bait | +3.59 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | wheeler | +3.55 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | fucking retard idiot | +3.27 | 85 | 62 |
| #4 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | +2.04 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | I sit | +1.83 | 93 | 42 |





