








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1205 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1635 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2208 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1655 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,946,720 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 547 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coochi |ttv| | 92% | 26 |
| #2 | I sit | 72% | 81 |
| #3 | young buck | 69% | 26 |
| #4 | kirkomelon | 69% | 58 |
| #5 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 68% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | SHLIZZARD | 63% | 24 |
| #11 | El Bait | 60% | 138 |
| #12 | Arugula | 52% | 65 |
| #13 | RyzoH | 52% | 33 |
| #14 | tooth | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Bait | 15 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | I sit | 10 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | kirkomelon | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | fucking retard idiot | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 653 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | wheeler | 549 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | El Bait | 347 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | strat | 303 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Arugula | 250 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fucking retard idiot | +3.86 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | El Bait | +2.93 | 88 | 64 |
| #3 | strat | +2.38 | 91 | 40 |
| #4 | wheeler | +2.29 | 89 | 67 |
| #5 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | +2.15 | 79 | 67 |





