








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 828 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2633 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2630 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1943 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2225 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,414,756 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 613 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | masor | 53% | 62 |
| #14 | aesor | 52% | 63 |
| #15 | Richter | 52% | 54 |
| #16 | Gab | 48% | 46 |
| #17 | eoN | 46% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freshly shitted underwear | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | stm | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Evan | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | eoN | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Richter | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freshly shitted underwear | 446 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #2 | eoN | 322 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | yoasobi | 322 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | hdzywOo | 218 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | stm | 212 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoasobi | +5.34 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | masor | +3.84 | 88 | 64 |
| #3 | eVERbEAN | +3.74 | 89 | 61 |
| #4 | Freshly shitted underwear | +2.18 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | Richter | +2.11 | 81 | 56 |





