








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 871 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7037 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5650 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7000 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5464 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,615,782 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 432 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biiiddy | 59% | 113 |
| #2 | Viiiddy | 53% | 104 |
| #3 | Hairy Polish Guy | 52% | 503 |
| #4 | brandon | 51% | 183 |
| #5 | Look A Hat | 47% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hairy Polish Guy | 52% | 503 |
| #4 | brandon | 51% | 183 |
| #5 | Look A Hat | 47% | 115 |
| #6 | Lando | 41% | 46 |
| #7 | Fregley | 38% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hairy Polish Guy | 20 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | brandon | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | biiiddy | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Viiiddy | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Fregley | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hairy Polish Guy | 1001 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #2 | brandon | 600 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | biiiddy | 498 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #4 | Viiiddy | 466 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #5 | Look A Hat | 233 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hairy Polish Guy | +1.66 | 56 | 70 |
| #2 | biiiddy | +1.47 | 64 | 75 |
| #3 | brandon | +1.33 | 54 | 59 |
| #4 | Viiiddy | +1.09 | 71 | 77 |
| #5 | Spinny | +0.01 | 61 | 74 |





