








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2341 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1243 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2262 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1138 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,614 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biiiddy | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | Hairy Polish Guy | 51% | 219 |
| #3 | Fregley | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Viiiddy | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | brandon | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fregley | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Viiiddy | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | brandon | 48% | 75 |
| #6 | Spinny | 47% | 115 |
| #7 | Lando | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hairy Polish Guy | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Spinny | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Fregley | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | brandon | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Viiiddy | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hairy Polish Guy | 415 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Spinny | 322 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | brandon | 263 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Viiiddy | 199 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | biiiddy | 169 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biiiddy | +2.19 | 69 | 77 |
| #2 | brandon | +1.66 | 58 | 56 |
| #3 | Hairy Polish Guy | +1.37 | 62 | 71 |
| #4 | Viiiddy | +0.77 | 64 | 77 |
| #5 | Spinny | +0.04 | 64 | 76 |





