








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6166 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4530 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3848 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3523 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $511,231 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brandon | 54% | 113 |
| #2 | Spinny | 53% | 104 |
| #3 | Hairy Polish Guy | 52% | 252 |
| #4 | Eddy | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Look A Hat | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hairy Polish Guy | 52% | 252 |
| #4 | Eddy | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Look A Hat | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | _shiine | 41% | 39 |
| #7 | StashySR | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hairy Polish Guy | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | brandon | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Spinny | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Eddy | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | _shiine | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hairy Polish Guy | 419 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | brandon | 302 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Spinny | 285 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | StashySR | 93 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Look A Hat | 92 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _shiine | +1.61 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Viiiddy | +0.56 | 70 | 75 |
| #3 | Hairy Polish Guy | +0.51 | 61 | 68 |
| #4 | brandon | +0.36 | 52 | 56 |
| #5 | Spinny | -0.76 | 54 | 73 |





