








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 318 | 6% |
| Smokes | 2286 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 631 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1659 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,528,920 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DivineBot v2 | 53% | 87 |
| #2 | XxReaper454xX | 50% | 307 |
| #3 | Ya-Man | 45% | 73 |
| #4 | xFlound3r | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DivineBot v2 | 53% | 87 |
| #2 | XxReaper454xX | 50% | 307 |
| #3 | Ya-Man | 45% | 73 |
| #4 | xFlound3r | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XxReaper454xX | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Ya-Man | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | xFlound3r | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | DivineBot v2 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XxReaper454xX | 1039 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | DivineBot v2 | 58 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ya-Man | 57 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | xFlound3r | 4 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DivineBot v2 | +0.51 | 30 | 33 |
| #2 | XxReaper454xX | +0.27 | 21 | 61 |
| #3 | xFlound3r | -0.08 | 45 | 12 |
| #4 | Ya-Man | -0.15 | 27 | 26 |
| #5 | xFlound4r | -2.89 | 13 | 30 |





