








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 802 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 536 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7908 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5335 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7328 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6381 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,972,873 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobby Bottle Service | 49% | 178 |
| #2 | illwill | 47% | 575 |
| #3 | Mediocre | 45% | 635 |
| #4 | MAG | 42% | 251 |
| #5 | WestAmwellWyatt | 40% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobby Bottle Service | 49% | 178 |
| #2 | illwill | 47% | 575 |
| #3 | Mediocre | 45% | 635 |
| #4 | MAG | 42% | 251 |
| #5 | WestAmwellWyatt | 40% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illwill | 26 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | MAG | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Bobby Bottle Service | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Mediocre | 5 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | WestAmwellWyatt | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illwill | 2237 | 0.19 | 66 min |
| #2 | Mediocre | 2161 | 0.17 | 48 min |
| #3 | Bobby Bottle Service | 715 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #4 | MAG | 351 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | WestAmwellWyatt | 32 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illwill | +2.77 | 66 | 72 |
| #2 | Bobby Bottle Service | +2.68 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | Mediocre | -0.25 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | MAG | -0.53 | 57 | 52 |
| #5 | Kumquat III | -1.68 | 48 | 58 |





