








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1485 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 312 | 17% |
| Smokes | 624 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 367 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 511 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,754 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAG | 45% | 148 |
| #2 | illwill | 45% | 127 |
| #3 | Mediocre | 42% | 233 |
| #4 | Kumquat III | 40% | 173 |
| #5 | Bobby Bottle Service | 37% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAG | 45% | 148 |
| #2 | illwill | 45% | 127 |
| #3 | Mediocre | 42% | 233 |
| #4 | Kumquat III | 40% | 173 |
| #5 | Bobby Bottle Service | 37% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kumquat III | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | MAG | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | illwill | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Bobby Bottle Service | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Mediocre | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mediocre | 773 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | illwill | 612 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #3 | Kumquat III | 531 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Bobby Bottle Service | 264 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | MAG | 232 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illwill | +4.22 | 69 | 74 |
| #2 | Bobby Bottle Service | +4.21 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | Mediocre | +1.01 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | MAG | +0.71 | 57 | 56 |
| #5 | Kumquat III | -0.35 | 48 | 56 |





