








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2006 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4352 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5012 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3038 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,059 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adm1x the UNprofessional | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | Bierjesus | 53% | 150 |
| #3 | Cauli | 51% | 228 |
| #4 | b1oN | 49% | 317 |
| #5 | PeterSchmusig | 49% | 317 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cauli | 51% | 228 |
| #4 | b1oN | 49% | 317 |
| #5 | PeterSchmusig | 49% | 317 |
| #6 | Force™ | 48% | 61 |
| #7 | Perlenbacher Connaisseur | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterSchmusig | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | b1oN | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Bierjesus | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Perlenbacher Connaisseur | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Force™ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1oN | 466 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Cauli | 421 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | PeterSchmusig | 350 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | adm1x the UNprofessional | 295 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #5 | Bierjesus | 265 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterSchmusig | +1.88 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | Cauli | +0.57 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | kggx | +0.54 | 70 | 55 |
| #4 | adm1x the UNprofessional | +0.44 | 40 | 74 |
| #5 | b1oN | -0.73 | 57 | 58 |





