








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1777 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2499 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2272 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1944 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $857,544 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kggx | 51% | 228 |
| #2 | Bierjesus | 51% | 124 |
| #3 | b1oN | 50% | 244 |
| #4 | PeterSchmusig | 49% | 232 |
| #5 | Perlenbacher Connaisseur | 49% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bierjesus | 51% | 124 |
| #3 | b1oN | 50% | 244 |
| #4 | PeterSchmusig | 49% | 232 |
| #5 | Perlenbacher Connaisseur | 49% | 80 |
| #6 | Force™ | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterSchmusig | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | kggx | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Bierjesus | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | b1oN | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Perlenbacher Connaisseur | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kggx | 428 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | b1oN | 349 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | PeterSchmusig | 256 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bierjesus | 234 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Perlenbacher Connaisseur | 77 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterSchmusig | +1.48 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | Cauli | +0.66 | 55 | 64 |
| #3 | kggx | +0.66 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | Force™ | +0.32 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | b1oN | -0.18 | 59 | 60 |





