








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 131 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4452 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4689 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2543 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2995 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,076,982 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mighty Denicz | 69% | 49 |
| #2 | Irongoat | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | KoK | 62% | 55 |
| #4 | Decker | 56% | 39 |
| #5 | de_dog | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | ENDNUMEREGRATISELO | 48% | 56 |
| #18 | EmiLiuZ | 48% | 27 |
| #19 | Zlatni | 45% | 51 |
| #20 | ShakEEEbroh | 44% | 34 |
| #21 | Bekker | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | divine | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Betch | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | JoggeZ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | KoK | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Dallimba | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dallimba | 645 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | divine | 494 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | de_dog | 287 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | qtz | 218 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bekker | 204 | 0.25 | 5 min |





