








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1343 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2226 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2568 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2113 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,655 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilsonnr1 | 70% | 43 |
| #2 | n1lsen | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | ahu1d6y | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | 💖 | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Rook | 54% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rook | 32 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | NecBugH | 14 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | Wilsonnr1 | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Doc McStubbins™ | 6 | 0.0141 |
| #5 | :) | 6 | 0.0162 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rook | 340 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | n1lsen | 181 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | ahu1d6y | 156 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | :) | 112 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #5 | NecBugH | 95 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilsonnr1 | +5.39 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | 💖 | +4.22 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | Zajdawho | +2.76 | 75 | 47 |
| #4 | XertixUwU | +0.69 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | n1lsen | +0.68 | 72 | 61 |





