








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 327 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4051 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4667 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4300 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4085 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,636,048 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Fubbu | 50% | 30 |
| #10 | eriK | 50% | 134 |
| #11 | Gjøs ☕ | 45% | 157 |
| #12 | Tomso | 33% | 33 |
| #13 | juju | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy ☕ | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | [EWA] ÜßЗЯ | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Gjøs ☕ | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Legreid | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | sIkLe | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy ☕ | 1080 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #2 | Legreid | 819 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #3 | Gjøs ☕ | 472 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | [EWA] ÜßЗЯ | 465 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | sIkLe | 235 | 0.14 | 7 min |





